I remember walking down the street to that tune, one summer so many years ago with a person who doesn't exist
I didn't make him happy when skies were grey
Nobody could
Grey was his wish
Motive and observation
Blood, tears, and bile
A lie of a hum
The pain of history is that it takes decades to change
And yes, it does change

Love and Life tell you not to
But pain and lust make it so
Your ill-chosen words make me feel worse
Your small mind makes my hatred grow

You don't know where I'm coming from
And never will unless you go there
So sit in your box filled with boredom,
Stupidity, and talentless fare

Hey, I'm no goddamned agnostic
And I clutch my chains to here
This rubbing, burning rope sensation
Taste my acid little fear

Give me your thesis, he states
We'll drink a little wine
And after all the puking's done
we'll label it a good time

From geek to chic
So bleet the sheep
So sweet is the cretin, how loud his name
Crusted with dust and wickedly lame
Love and oppression are one and the same

Friday

I'm sorry I yelled at you
Cried at you
Bitched and cried some more

I was feeling unbelievably awful
Sick
And hopeless

Thank you for being there
Warm and true
Thank you for opening your arms and heart
For me

Saturday

I was still feeling rotten
Couldn't do anything
For anyone
Even if I had wanted to

Thank you for talking with me
Laughing and loving

Sunday

I'm sorry for waking you
No doubt worrying your poor, dear heart
For being short with you, and curt

I was panicked, stricken, and sick
In pain and alone

Thank you for promising me
For helping me and regarding me

Thank you for walking to the hospital
For staying with me
And by me
Holding me and reassuring me

Thank you for sleeping by me
Comforting me and caring for me

Monday

What a holiday

Thank you for waking with me
Rested and singing

Thank you for another trip to the hospital
For joking with me and being silly
Even while I was stressed from my mother
And I know you weren't happy either

Thank you for wishing me well
For making me smile in a personal Hell

Thank you for loving me
For healing me
For you

I love you, my sweetie, the sweetest taste of life and love amidst the bitterness

He is no David
I understand this fact and it is irrelevant
He makes me feel warm and safe
Beautiful and loved
Most importantly
He makes me feel

Effervescence liberated and cavities sent to seed
Take in real while greasy dreams spread like wildfire
In my esophagus

Leaves of gold and green
Somehow to replace strength and speed
Steak replaces Beefsteak
And my serotonin treats are now banned

Nothing could be further from burning

It's too important not to
With the breeze tickling my neck
Dust trails in the air
Follow what should be yours
And again
You ride peace like a donkey

Once
Only once
Think of nothing
Do not move
Only breathe

I can not

The sun is shining. Strong. The river is no longer icy. I actually got excited to see a piece of driftwood bobbing slowly along close to Mooney's Bay. The sky is a gorgeous soft blue. Nenna went outside and laid down on the back steps after doing her business, enjoying the warmth and sunshine, like Momo used to. All that was missing was the butterflies. I left the back door open and listened to the birds tweet with an urgency that reminded me of a group of five year olds on Christmas morning. Hurry, the sun is here! I can't believe it! The Sun! Everybody! Wake up and enjoy! I turned down my television and enjoyed listening to their apparent sun-drunkenness. The morning was just chill enough to bring a crispness to the air that enlivened my flesh, while my eyes were blinded by the bright rays, squinting in the glare, threatening to send me to sleep.

I suppose nothing is worse than quitting
An effort may as well be involved
This complacency of my resolve
How disgusting

I am unwilling to erase these poems, yet
For them to remain unfinished, unsung, uninspiring...
Just seems so shameful
I can't do that to my words

They are a part of me

Promise of love
Hope of moving forward
AND A POETRY BLOG

It can be done

Resolution on the back burner in favour of warm snuggles
For this, I am not sorry

Somehow this blog feels like a chore
Every day
Be sure to write your lines

"I will not forget to blog
I will not forget to blog
I will not..."

How can I sit at the computer and compose what I will not enjoy, when there are loving arms and smiling love waiting for me elsewhere?

I can't see the piano
I can't hear its lilting notes
There is nothing wrong with my eyes or ears
Nothing wrong with me at all
But for the fact that
I do not wish to embrace
Anything that will
Give beauty
And meaning
To this world

You're the mom
Why does it need to be said
You should know
You should make it better
Pound for pound
No gloves
All love
You should know
You should make it better

Happiness can be so fickle
The purveyor of mine is staid and true
It can be a raving river or just a trickle
We can share it, me and you